The paranormal can be many things for a variety of reasons. For the most part within our reality here on this planet, there are the unseen, unknowable aspects of the darkness and only what seems to be like a handful of books to address any problems lurking within the shadows. Syfy has taken liberties with imaginative monsters and dark gabled windows that reflect back more than the naked eye can see. What happens when the darkness is real, the experiences are terrifying and the impulse is to run with nowhere to hide? It’s become a rudimentary and convoluted topsy turvy problem; the reality for some reason seems to be less terrifying to fanatical listeners and distantly obsessed observers because Horror and Syfy shows have taken everything to the extreme, the impossible, and the unthinkable. People who experience the darkness these days have to prove its existence to the naysayers, when years ago, on word of mouth only and a preacher’s visit, the said acknowledgment was enough.
With this being said, to an, “In the moment Experiencer,” there is no movie comparable to living and breathing the reality of shadows and mysterious creatures. The reality of the unexplained is not only a lonely endeavor but for most people, they instinctively loath the idea and without a doubt, resolutely avoid its path. Those few brave souls like Michael and myself who do venture forward towards the unknown, become acquainted with the shadows and the shadows forever follow us. This doesn’t mean that light doesn’t peek through the shadowy silhouettes; it means that once acquainted with the unknown, one becomes altered by its association.
Here are a few experiences I have had that I can’t explain. I’ve tried to figure out scenarios that fit perfectly like puzzle pieces even though these sequences are just as fantastical as the experience. Maybe this is the first clue, what seems to be complete fantasy probably is closer to the truth and reality than what we can ever know. Aliens, Shadow People, Men in Black, Black Ops and Cryptids welcome the occasional traveler through their domains or so we think. Maybe in some cases, it’s a bit more sinister.
I don’t want to put human thought into the minds of certain beings, Aliens, Cryptids or whoever lurks in the corners. But I must say, my human mind wants clarification and tutoring into the protocols of each group. How do we understand what exists alongside us that is ultimately as foreign to us as the distant star? Those dark and mysterious reclusive souls who stay within the shadows eventually come out and show themselves in the most unusual and convoluted ways. It comes down to seeing beyond our expected reality, our eyesight’s normal range so that we can see the depth of the exceptional unknown. The question is, how do we get past our minds roadblocks?
Locations can trigger memories as far back as our earliest childhood. Blocks and unconscious association to places and people can be the hardest of all to understand. Los Alamos, New Mexico is one of those places for me. As a child along with my older sister Holly, we realized that something was off, almost peculiar regarding the town itself. And I say town because it wasn’t very big in the 70s. We would go to visit my uncle and aunt and each visit was always accompanied by dread not only by me but my sister as well. Back then as a kid, I felt I was going to the Twilight Zone. It reminded me of a town hiding secrets and the people seemed to be strange not only in appearance but in some other odd manner that even to this day, I can’t put my finger on. My uncle worked for Los Alamos Labs but we never knew what he did, he took its secret to his grave.
Funny thing is, that I had been there a few times as an adult but I blocked out the way from both directions, a back way through the Jemez Mountains and the other off of I-25. With the knowledge of my childhood apprehension regarding Los Alamos, Michael and I decided to take a trip the back way into Los Alamos to see why I felt the way I did. It was lovely, the Jemez Pueblo was surrounded by red rocks and the Caldera further down the road, was magnificent in size. How on earth could I have forgotten such a beautiful place? As we went along the winding road getting closer to Los Alamos, my breathing became heavier and I started to get sweaty palms. We past an area of high grass along the highway that ventured out into pine trees. A flash of memory came back to me but I wasn’t sure at first what it was. A few days later, it hit me like a ton of bricks, a full blown memory that to this day, I can’t believe I had forgotten.
I was around 6 or 7 years old and I remember a group of men in military uniforms. Some in brown and others in blue except for … the Grey Aliens. They were testing me along with a selected group of children. We were all supposed to levitate over an area the size of a football field. They had us running along a large valley of tall grass surrounded by pine trees. I was scared and knew that I wouldn’t be able to levitate as they requested. My mind was literally mush so nothing could get through. I literally felt like a scared rabbit. I knew that the repercussions for not doing what they asked me to do was going to be a severe punishment but I didn’t care. I knew that if I ran a little behind the other kids that there might be a chance that I could escape. I didn’t see the soldiers that surrounded us when I made a run for it and I was immediately picked up scampering in another direction. The memory stops here.
Another memory came weeks later, I was back in the same area with the other children. The Greys were levitating over us and wanted us to follow them. They had instructions for us. It was a total mind manipulation, a third eye mind meld. I remember I physically saw through another way, I think my pineal gland and I felt tingly all over as if I was half in my body and half out. I levitated a little and would fall … constantly. I’m sure I was bruised. The other kids did the same but they didn’t seem to care if we were getting hurt, they just wanted us to keep up the levitation to a point to where we could float and move from one end of the field to the other. I remember I was levitating up to about 10 feet and I was looking down at the ground below me. It was such an exhilarating feeling of not only accomplishing what they wanted but entering another place in my mind. Some voice in my head told me that I was doing a good job. As a child, I liked pleasing this group of Aliens. Good things happened when I was able to do as they asked, but the consequences I use to suffer for my failures is still blocked. In a way, I’m glad I can’t remember.
The final memory which I believe involves my childhood handler is foggier than the other memories. I was holding a man’s hand who was very familiar to me. I looked up to him more as a father figure than anything. We were standing by a 4 door sedan. I knew it was my handler’s car. There were 4 men directly in front of us in military uniforms besides other vehicles that were military. One person in particular was a high ranking officer, I believe he was a Major. He was yelling at my handler, telling him he was inappropriate with me and getting in the way of my progress. I held my handler’s hand tightly because I didn’t want him to go away. At that very moment, I had a sinking feeling that things were going to change and never be the same. I knew they were going to make me leave in another car with some stranger who I didn’t know and who would be assigned as my new handler. Something happened though it’s foggy, someone took my arm as my handler pulled me closer to him and tried to fight off whoever was trying to take me away. The memory just fades away after that. I can’t remember what happened.
If I try to explain these memories, I can’t. They are as detailed as if they happened yesterday. How do I explain or prove them? This is hard to do.
Stay tune for part 2.