28 July 2017 0 Comments

Sasquatch and the Egyptian Connection – Part 2     

The Sasquatch that I saw were different, an ancient group that were more original to the look of what the Sasquatch embodied, many thousands of years ago. They had nothing in common with humans when they came here; the novelty for them was the chance to trade and interact with us. They learned quickly how dangerous humans were and because of this, they have very little contact except for a chosen few they feel they can trust.

The Demigods liked trading and working with the Sasquatch because they were not only experts in earth’s geological structure, but great gemologists and metallurgists. If any one group can find gold, the Sasquatch is at the top of the list. I often wonder if this is where myth and legend come into play regarding dwarfs. I know the physiology between them is at opposite ends but as time passes by, the enduring stories of old tend to stay alive, especially by livening up the details a bit.

Gold is a main component of Gaia’s blood.  Is it any wonder this is the aphrodisiac of the Demigods? Does Vampirism come to mind?

I know with this bit of information, I will probably get people thinking I’m a Looney tune, but this is what I was told and I stand by it.

The Demigods took humankind’s inner compass and felt it best to block it and alter what inner knowledge we were born with. As thousands of years have passed by, we unfortunately have no idea what has been lost. What was written in books was either hidden away or destroyed. A society ignorant of their birth right, is much easier to manage. Within us, cobwebs and dust have accumulated becoming like the sands of time. Even if we dig up our past, the chances of understanding what we find are mute, especially if we don’t even know or remember, our connection to Gaia.

After the Demigods did this, they then embarked on an exhaustive campaign of epic proportions … religion. Spirituality went out the window and images, sculptures and structures were erected in their likeness. Mythology is an interesting and wondrous topic taught in schools but at certain points in history, these immortal beings were alive, especially for their many followers and worshipers. The Demigods were out in the open for over a thousand years but they eventually saw that hiding in plain sight, was easier. Various religions played a key role in manipulating the masses, making sure everyone towed the line. Thinking outside the box of specified doctrines even to this day isn’t allowed and frowned upon, especially by religious purists and fundamentalists.

Sasquatch saw this manipulation and started to cut ties with the Demigods. The “live and let live,” gentle giants wanted no part in this manipulation. They came to love this planet and many made it their home planet. Others travel back and forth through natural portals that manifest and disappear within a time frame that is queued from sacred geometry. These portals change locations every three weeks. The Sasquatch are born with an innate ability that helps them sense where they manifest at any given time. I think this might be one of the reasons why the Military might be interested in the Sasquatch. 

Egypt is the best way to see how the Demigods played out the different aspects of their agenda. The Pharaohs acting as living Gods was one way of familiarizing the masses with their rulers. Interbreeding with humans ensured that this sacred bloodline, specific to the Demigods would live on.

Not many people know this, but the Sasquatch were in Egypt many, thousands of years ago. The pyramids Menkaure, Khafre and Khufu to name a few are natural portals that are still used today. The Sasquatch don’t use these portals anymore since they easily can travel back and forth, closer to home.  The natural portals are usually found in national forests around the world.

I had my own experience of missing time in Egypt with one of Menkaure’s smaller pyramids. Around 2 or 3am, I climbed to the top of one of the pyramids and after I stopped to catch my breath,  I heard a humming sound, blacked out and a few minutes later, I reemerged on the same spot except 2 to 3 hours had passed and I could hear the morning prayer on the loudspeakers. Maybe the smaller ones are portals too.

So today we have a history that is hidden, and yet it is crucial to understand that until we start to take a stand, not just for off handed answers that are circulated time and time again … no, it’s time we make it clear we want to know the truth of our past and WHO has manipulated it so that we are only half the human’s we used to be. We deserve to know how connected we are to Gaia and what that connection means. I believe, Sasquatch is here to help us make a stand because it is obvious that the Demigods will do whatever is in their power to keep hidden the secrets of our freedom.

 

 

20 April 2016 0 Comments

Can Aliens be Possessed?

Blurry image of nightmarish alien beings.

Blurry image of nightmarish alien beings.

The fear that comes from the very word, possession conjures up memories of just about every possession type movie ever made. How many people wake up each day worried that something will take over their body? Probably not many, because as humans, we don’t live life thinking in terms of our bodies being possessed or fear the unthinkable … body snatching. It’s a made for movie problem, not so much a real life problem. But what happens to those few who have experienced possession? Are they ever the same or does the relationship between body and soul have a whole new meaning?

The body is the vessel that contains so much of our life experience here on earth. The library within is a complete anthology of who we are and it contains our evolution as souls. Our bodies are truly the vessels of experience because in order to complete multiple life cycles, I believe we need multiple bodies. Some may argue this statement but it’s one that I have come to understand as the truth. The human experience is so much more and I am forever grateful to God, our architect of life for the endless opportunity to learn and grow throughout the ages.

With the alien abductions I have experienced, I have learned that with my brain’s ability to contain information, it also can be so manipulated. Reality versus implants becomes muddy and permeable to what I think the truth is. Maybe what I remembered really didn’t happen or it did on a larger scale. After all these lifetimes, I wonder why my brain and body are still so vulnerable. But I got to thinking, what of that of Aliens? Can they be possessed like humans and would any other entity really even want to take over such an adversarial foe? Would it even be the same or is it really an earth based condition and one that only humans experience.

In the scheme of things, does the evolution of a species play a part in their vulnerability? Why are humans specific to earth plagued problems that come with the deluge of experiments, abductions and the subjugation of fallacious rule? Do Aliens experience what we do in their own communities or do they have an entirely different type of dynamics within their communities that places them in a different realm?

Do the various entities have procedures that dictate who they conquer, harass or manipulate? How is it, that mankind can be possessed and yet we never hear of Aliens such as Greys, Reptilian or the Tall Whites that succumb to the same problem? Do dark entities know instinctively who to manipulate and subjugate? If it happens, it’s a well kept secret at least from a human standpoint.

Wouldn’t it make sense to possess a more powerful species? Perhaps this is a dark secret that dark entities don’t want us to know about. With Aliens highly evolved minds, are they impervious to attacks and possession?

With our emotional strengths and weaknesses, we can overcome any adversity and yet call to ourselves the very darkness that we so detest by one emotion that serves no one, it’s called fear. It can blanket every aspect of a person’s day or night, taking over the sanity of their lives, creating a perilous existence. Fear seems to be the one thing that human beings carry within them that other species don’t. If fear is our Achilles heel, what would be so for other species? I really don’t think that we are so inferior as a species that we are the only ones being attacked and tormented by malevolent creatures. But I must admit, when I was in the company of Greys, it never entered my mind to ask this question. It wasn’t even on the back-burner for future encounters.

Can the idea of people following their religions be a beacon, that invisible marker that attracts these dark creatures? Religions in their many traditions tend to become the mediaries between humans and their divinity. The unfortunate consequence of letting someone else tell us what God wants us to know, is that it seats us at a disadvantage. Sometimes religion creates a disproportionate echelon that places people at the very bottom or more to the point leading them to believe that is their rightful place.

Adding to this question, I haven’t really heard of a Sasquatch, Dogman or other Cryptids becoming possessed but maybe this is because the archaic stories of old have somehow been lost through the forests of time, along with the creatures of old. Interestingly enough, with the paranormal activity connected to abductions, I wonder if the ethereal world beyond the veil has more to it than we can ever fathom. Maybe Aliens don’t become possessed because they are a part of the possession itself. So the question then becomes, who is worse, the demon or the Alien?

11 January 2016 0 Comments

Religious Visions of an Elusive Elucidation

warrior angels

Slowly, I wake up some mornings, feeling groggy, almost as if I never went to sleep. Where did I go in my dreams and why this time, can’t I remember anything? It’s either a slice of bursting detailed memories surging into my morning rouse or forgetful bits and pieces of blurry images and shadows that disappear before my eyes slowly open. Did I fail the task of bringing the images with me … again? I often wonder why my body aches with a knowing recollection yet my mind is a blank, confused mess.

Years ago when I was at the tender age of impressions and influence, two worlds that enveloped my perception of reality, seemed to collide in the dark and ambiguous night. Night is the cover of secrets, the unmitigated silence of whispering truths. The truth we all seek comes out at night, revealing its secrets in the shadows, yet it disguises itself before day break, fading into the sun’s luminous glow. Visions and dreams of the night before, merge into daily activities that seem to be of no consequence. It feels as if the encumbering night’s efforts are lost without hope and eventually forgotten by day’s end.

Religion plays a huge part in dream analogies because the faithful find it easier to follow indoctrinated assessments or answers already in-place, called tenet interpretations. Does the experiencer become a fantasist or a casualty of long ago foes fighting and playing out the legendary testaments between realms? Looking back as a child, I always felt that placing such impressions upon me was a particularly cruel and callous to a point, ultimately making my dream-state, a hellish nightmare. As the survivor of childhood visions and dreams, it often times felt as if Heaven and Hell were so preoccupied within their contentious clashes, that they developed into insensitive adversaries to the very souls for which they both wager such a high price for.

Even now, I occasionally find myself in the middle of warring adversaries, colliding into my dreams, giving me visions of an unbreakable and timeless rivalry. Unmistakably, I’m the link that binds them together as all souls are with unmitigated resilience and unintentional fortitude.

To remember or not to remember, which is worse?

We want to know what we can’t remember, and yet, there is a part of us that resists the truth, closing the door to elucidating memories that would unlock the all encompassing abysmal dread of the verity of knowing. Once we understand the signs, meanings and messages of dreams, we can no longer pretend that normalcy in real life can carry on. There’s always a responsibility to knowing the truth.

What can the truth be to a child experiencing religious visions or dreams? My memories from those unremitting and diverse shadows, swirling with hued colors in and out of my vision, resulted in me always feeling like I was spiraling out of control. I would spin like a top and the pit of my stomach would tighten up in knots, hands and legs flailing in the wind. The speed of my downfall would be lightning fast but the images below me always stayed distorted, small and the same. Something would catch me and then another image vague, barely visible with a finger-painting smudge and blurry outline, would explode into my subconscious, grabbing at me, manipulating my senses lifeless and inert. Within seconds, my slumber would be awakened by the sounds of wings fluttering and thrashing upon an imperceptible semblance of a humanoid image, bringing me back from my desolate and extreme despondency. The smell and closeness of fluttering wings would flood my senses with an aphrodisiac kind of ethereal delight. It was as if the air surging into my lungs allowed me to breathe in the essence of heavenly fragrances and scents from whence all things began, the timeless, archaic and rapturous breath of God.

These days, I routinely wake up with my heart pounding, confused at first as to where I am. Vague recollections emerge flickering here and there out of my drowsy slumber. Each time, these dreams or memories never manifest into complete and detailed recollections. My mind’s eye is a blank canvas, yet my aches and pains seemingly steadfast and resolute, appear to be my only reprove of my arduous tribulations. Sometimes the images or memories place themselves within my emotions, reminding my tangled mind that something did take place. This is all that I am left with. It never feels like enough. I imagine it to be like waking up at the end of a movie. The plot always seems to elude me so the ending makes no sense.

So why as a child did I scream out if the visions were symbolic of religious images that comforted me during the day? Interestingly enough, these religious images played a huge part into my already paranoid phobias because they secretly came to life in the quiet of my room but only when I was alone, waiting with an angst-ridden dread laying in bed. Why were the religious icons scarier than the all consuming night? Can it be that the malevolent darkness likes to play upon the very images that represent the envisaged sanctity of the faithful?

How do religious dreams impact our daily lives? I have always felt unworthy, perhaps hoping that through my vigilant belief that what I was a part of, would become the immeasurable and intrinsic elucidation of a remedial existence, connecting it to my own. If I am more faithful, with more conviction in my devotion, would the images unfold within my mind’s eye so that I could paint the vivid memories that have eluded me for so many years?

As a child and young adult, I felt as if my soul was stretched, molded and hung out to dry countless times only to be placed back into my body by mornings onset. My body became foreign at curtain moments, showing on my face most of all. As I looked in the mirror, my image would scare me at times because I didn’t look like me and I thought I was possessed. Sometimes the pain of a child isn’t felt in the body but more so in a place that becomes a sanctuary of inviolability, known as the resting place for the soul. When the soul unites with the body, it flies unwavering with the power of Heaven’s tempest winds, awakening the heart and mind. I am told this blessed place is inside the body but my experience has been, it is just outside the third eye, our beacon of illumination.

The religious visions and dreams stayed within my youthful naiveté because the impact was so relentless and incessant. Because of this, the observer, I call my empathic mind, to this day, impulsively complicates my desire for the truth. It manipulates the adult in me, requesting I hide away the slightest prospect of recovered images, preferring the convenience of self deception. Maybe I don’t want to remember the archaic discrepancies of the interminable light and dark encounters. It is obvious, that the blurry memories are smudged by my own fingerprint.

Today I am constantly reminded of the enmity between both sides. Such hazy images make me feel like a leaf caught between the convergent and divergent front lines of timeless antediluvian adversaries. In the end, what I do know is with each vision and dream; what element of life I am living in, is minuscule in comparison to the broad and limitless horizons of the immeasurable infinitude.

I often wonder why my flesh and blood has become my Achilles heel. If only my heart could open and unfold wings, then perhaps the contention of the diabolical beings could glimpse that my soul is more to the likeness of God than my body. My Seraphic mentors know this but they carry a heavy burden of responsibility by defending my flesh and blood image.

Obviously, my religious visions are derelict of elucidation for many reasons. Those immortals that wish to vanquish my place within the scheme of things only add to the long standing spiritual quandary. I do know that as I rouse in the morning light, those antiquated beings of a perpetual existence need not worry about me being a mere mortal here on earth. At day’s end, I am just the progeny of the Divine Source figuring out my place in the scheme of things just like everybody else. As the dreams and visions continue, hopefully one day soon, I’ll have the courage to remember what has been constantly elusive. It is my hope to one day; paint the archaic images in their perspective roles, fighting the eternal fight, recounting my excursions with my biblical mentors and their convoluted foes of antiquity

4 May 2015 0 Comments

ARCHANGELS, FALLEN ONES AND THE DARK AGENDA

archangel_Michael_wallpaper

Part 2
What would be the ultimate gain for any entity visiting this planet? Think about it, a visitor’s frequency wouldn’t last long or be capable of enduring the earth’s dominant resonance. Figuring out how to stay here for long periods of time would be the ultimate goal and since most of humanity isn’t worried about being a target, the dark agenda could hover, waiting without the concern of being found out. If humanity isn’t looking for a problem, they won’t see it coming until it’s too late. This is the underlining ulterior motive for such entities because a surprise attack coming out of the blue, usually works the best.

I have often wondered about the Archangels and the role they play in our lives. Are they figments of the imagination, written as a hope for humanity or have people really seen them through out history. I ask this question not out of jest but more for contemplative reasons. Personally, I can attest I have seen Archangel Michael not once but three times as an adult. I wasn’t near death or having an out of body experience. I wasn’t on drugs, or hallucinating, it was three times in my life where I had to make a choice. As a child I believe he came to me but I’m not sure how many times or the circumstances.

Archangel Michael has a different aura about him, he doesn’t allow for second guessing, he comes with a mission and then leaves without a second glance. To me, it was never a, did I really just see him kind of thing; it was sitting back and wondering why he took the time to visit me.

I thought he would be accompanied by more pomp and circumstance but that obviously is for humans, and our desire to one up our importance from each other. I saw his sword, the look in his eyes that didn’t always seem friendly but overtly stern. There was one thing about him that will always stay with me, as much as he was to the point of his mission, he always brought the essence, that smell of Heaven, the all encompassing hope that my soul recognized immediately. I think this is how people can tell the difference between negative entities, demons or Angels. It’s the soul recognition that tells us who is who. If people are disconnected from their souls, how can they possibly know what lurks or stands before them. I have to say, for the hell and damnation types to automatically call anything that shows itself to them or anybody else, a demon, is just about as ridiculous as it sounds. People who live in fear quickly point fingers and assume so much based on their disconnect from themselves and God.

Below the light, the darkness hides and when it comes out, it is because it is invited by those who claim it as their creed, the decadence of their soul that brands them for eternity. These humans are the ones that play with fire and sometimes get consumed by it but the important and necessary message here is because such humans partake in the dark realm rituals, the portals are constantly open and the hovering observers gain entry without having to cross the earth’s borders in disguise. The dark agenda welcomes these entities or demons or whoever else chooses to make their presence known. This is humanities greatest battle because it’s not just good versus evil or light versus dark but tangible entities and demons who take no prisoners and truly seem to devour the soul, claiming it as theirs.

Are demons really so angry at our creation? How many stories are there in religious books about the fallen angels or the Nephilim that state that they rebelled against God because of us? Scholars and theologians write about this ancient war regarding human beings based on our creation by God, and being made in his image. Why would the fallen angels become so jealous and what changed their view on God, thus judging humans so harshly? Are we being told the whole story? If not, where is the rest of the story?
What if humanity could read minds, foresee the impulses of dysfunctional people, whisper in people’s heads the answers to their problems, and find solutions for every environmental problem humankind could ever face? If so, would such entities or demons bother coming here? Would the Angels have an easier time guiding us and would we see them more often than not? Isn’t this really becoming more of our reality then we think? The problem arises based on, if we are gaining a strong foothold on reality by ourselves as a species or if something else is manipulating our existence. Can we ever be a step ahead of the dark agenda?

The dark agenda plays all hands and reads all cards. As humans we can have the upper hand based on just one thing, the ascension of our soul. All we really need to do is reconnect with our higher source, the divinity within. By doing this, we would understand antiquated time, even into the earth’s primordial beginnings. This would be a great advantage when fighting such an archaic entity because if humans can remember time as it was recorded on this planet, we would see how the games were played and understand the dark agenda’s strategy. Humanity would have the upper hand and the ill-fated disappearances of children and their perverse rituals of death, would no longer be the blemish and disgrace of our reality. Innocence is the purest form of God which makes it such an appealing target. The worst and most evil message sent to human kind, is taking the life of innocence and placing the blame on the shoulders of divinity because of a begrudging vendetta.

We have to think about the corrupted souls walking amongst us. A friendly smile, pleasant conversation and the appearance of decency is a preferred cover for darkness. The phrase, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” can have a very complicated and confusing meaning. The soul can’t be deceived once it recognizes the intent and essence of any entity or being it encounters. But title and assumed respectability with the proper etiquette can confuse and place doubt within the mind of any person. Ultimately, the soul has to be the one in charge so that it can pull apart the onion of deception. Once human beings can recognize who they are looking at, these entities or demons won’t be able to hide, they can’t hover, waiting to attack anyone because people will know who they are and where they reside.

We hold the key to illumination in our hands because we have both the light and dark within us. The dark night is just as much apart of us as the light of the day. We are the mysterious, hushed breakthrough, the quiet reflection of the cosmos that allows the shimmering stars to sparkle. Because of this, darkness can’t devour itself or anything apart of it. Darkness can alienate the light from itself but even this action requires an acknowledgement of the existence of light within it.

We can shed light on the dark void with the understanding that we know who we are and where we come from, ultimately knowing that all along God isn’t just around us, but in us. Our souls aren’t for sale; they are the sustenance of divinity from the breath of God. Heaven has always been in us and remembering our heritage is the best way to bring out the light and vindication, by making no apology for our place in the Universe. We can stand strong with the Archangels making our choice known, becoming apart of the battle instead of being the source of its contention.

5 February 2015 0 Comments

Religion and the Abductee Experience

Religous 3

My private journey into the phenomenon of the paranormal and abductee experience was and is an isolated, complex, up hill trek that tends to leave me feeling vulnerable and exposed not only to the elements but to opinions. To be more to the point, I am speaking about opinions like yours, your friends and the public at large, yet here I am sharing my story with you. Am I a glutton for punishment, not really? This is just apart of my desire to see if anyone else, has had similar experiences, perhaps furthering my own exploration into the religious, abductee experience.

My religion seemed to add a twisted, exorcisty kind of atmosphere that made me think I was possessed or abnormal most of my childhood. The two worlds for any child can create a dysfunctional and skewed perspective concerning what reality is and what it will become. If I can levitate does this mean I’m an angel? If I see beings from above, does this mean they are from heaven? Most of these questions were answered from my childhood in the most basic to elaborate of ways. Who might I ask, could answer the questions that plagued me, especially if they didn’t understand the problems at large, the unequivocal intimidating type that molded and encouraged me to become a timid victim? Believe it or not, it was religion that was quick to answer me pointedly because in some peculiar ways, it played a role in my experiences.

Sorry, I’m not going to write about great experiences with the church I grew up with. I went to a Catholic school for the First grade, which played a surreptitious role in me being bused out a few days a week to a base and underground facilities where I grew up. I was warned early on that if I said anything to anyone, especially my parents, one of my parents would get hurt. What can a child do but believe that the adults scolding her, making her feel responsible are not only speaking the truth but making her a part of the consequences. I was tight lipped and proud yet I held on to a secret that no child should ever have to deal with. At age six, I was responsible for the well being of my parents, or so I thought.

This kind of responsibility leaves a mark; it’s like an emblazoned imprint on the soul because the mind of a child can only handle or empathize with what they are being told by adults. As time faded the mark of my censorship, the imprinted stigma stayed with me because the moments of responsibility took a toll on my childhood and in essence took away my childhood naivety.

It didn’t help that right around the time I was 13, the movie, The Exorcist came out in theaters. I thought for sure I was the object of some ill-begotten spirit. Night time was a panicky and heart palpitating occurrence, where I lived under the covers. I could always feel spirits looking down at me, just a nose length away from my face, trying to suck the breath out of me. I had two giant teddy bears on either side of me that did nothing but help me hide, from whatever I knew was in the room with me. I loved sleeping under the covers because they always gave me a false sense of comfort, a divided barrier that hid me from whatever was antagonizing my sanity.

Obviously the paranormal plays a role with abductees. In my case, with spirits freely visiting me at night, I also had to deal with the infamous … closet! It didn’t matter what house I stayed at, closets always symbolized the omnipotent, ethereal world that was black and empty. As a very young child, I knew vampires, witches and goblins lived in closets but after age five, there seemed to be something more sinister, lurking within the claustrophobic blackness. I have always felt that because of my interactions with the Greys, I have become more empathic, almost as finely tuned and observant as they are. This came in handy, when I felt they were near.

A sound can be just a sound to everybody else but as an abuductee, sounds are the introduction, the beginning of a dreaded dream that always seems to portray itself with the same characters, over and over again. In the end, the closet doors always opened slowly, creaking methodically and within my child’s mind, everything the blackness represented eventually came out to play. Sometimes, I would hear a voice, speaking faintly, its words lingering in my ear or was it in my mind. Either way, there were always two black eyes to go along with the ominous voice, I came to dread.

Sometimes even in the light of day, I saw strange things. I had a picture of the Virgin Mary that was on a wall by my bed. I would look up to her in the mornings for some kind of explanation for the previous night’s activity. Occasionally, I would think I saw a faint change in her face, and I would jump out of bed because my nerves just couldn’t handle another manifestation of either the paranormal or spiritual. For a child, even the most symbolic representations of religion, can become a daunting reminder of the unreachable, the unfathomable beyond that is heavy handed and unyielding. Sometimes religion can make God seem like a million miles away.

One Saturday morning when I was 14, I abruptly awoke, opening my blurry eyes. I had to adjust my vision because my room was brightly lit. On this particular morning, for some bizarre reason, I didn’t feel safe immediately after waking up. I was facing the picture of the Virgin Mary and as I was gazing up at her, from my peripheral vision, a shadow like figure darkened both my windows, and the face of the Virgin Mary started to drip blood and become distorted. I quickly closed my eyes and hid behind my big teddy bear. My door was closed so making a run for it, was out of the question. I subsequently opened one eye and tried to peak around my teddy bears left ear. To my relief, the picture of the Virgin Mary was back to normal again and my room was bright with sunshine. I thought to myself, did I just dream that or did it really happen? I jumped out of bed and ran for the door, deciding the answer wasn’t important.

Questioning oneself is the modus operandi for most abductees. A mark on the body is either a beauty mark or just a mark, even if it has a strange design to it. Finding clothes put on backwards the next morning, just means, we weren’t paying attention the night before. A strange gooey substance coming out of our private parts is a mild case of the flu, diarrhea or food poisoning. Waking up with strange bruises on our body, just means we knocked into something the day before, and didn’t pay attention. Bloody noses that are extreme, occurring on a daily basis, are explained as dry nose and common place. Finding ourselves outside our homes in the middle of the night, is described as sleep walking, even if all the doors and windows are locked from the inside. One clear observation that can be made, is that we are the most absent minded and obtuse people on the planet, especially to those people who are our critics, and the naysayers of our experiences.

When I was 18, I called upon a young priest who occasionally gave service at the church I attended. My experiences were getting beyond what I thought I could handle and I decided I needed some outside guidance. He was young, giving the appearance of being slightly innocuous, yet astute in his demeanor, I was uncomfortable and sweaty beyond belief.

Within seconds of sitting down, I literally spewed out my predicament, leaving nothing to the imagination. A long, torturous silence followed and I felt compelled to high tail it out of his office because I became horribly uncomfortable. He eventually looked up at me from closed eyes and said, “Pray my child and God will help you.” I stated that I did pray and the experiences still happened. He then said I needed to pray harder. I basically bared my inner most secrets to this man, thinking he would be my redeemer and to my dismay, he brushed me off with a safe and predictable answer. I left his office feeling foolish for even thinking he could help me.

I decided to go to see another priest (who was older) and prepared myself with a more resolute attitude, knowing he was going to help me and give me the answers I was seeking. To make a short story even shorter, within minutes of explaining my situation, I was asked to leave his office because he didn’t have time to deal with a paranoid and delusional parishioner like me. I left knowing that the religion I thought I could always count on, wasn’t there for me anymore.

The different times I did pray during an abduction experience, my abductors didn’t seem to pay attention to me or they ignored what I was doing. I realized that prayer is great for an abductees’ sanity after the fact, because it pacifies the nerves and serves as a familiar and safe haven. In order for prayer to work, we have to assume that ET’s have religion similar to ours and like us, they view God in the same way. If they are doing something terrifying to us, we can only assume, they must be malevolent in nature, opposite of our beliefs and that of God. If they don’t know God, how can they fear God. I remember thinking to myself years ago, that to assume my abductors followed society’s dictates and customs was just about as ludicrous as assuming they would ask me if I wanted to go with them instead of taking me against my will. I understood a long time ago they weren’t from here.

Growing up with an abductee’s state of mind was not easy, especially when high school became the mile marker that indicated that I was not like everybody else. Graduating from high school helped me feel normal because it seemed like a momentary way out or a reprieve from the abduction phenomena. Months after graduation, my nightmares and experiences became less and less and I “almost” lived a normal life.

The word “almost” is very important to remember here because it seems like the alien agenda carries within it individual timelines for each abductee. This can mean months, even years can go by with nothing happening and then all of a sudden … boom, with no warning, they start up again! The rollercoaster begins and it’s a ride that consumes the senses, leaving no room for normalcy, only the descent of questionable insanity.

In some ways, my abduction experiences tested my belief in God because if he existed, how could he let this happen. Yet, I have to say, something really interesting happened as I started to stand up and face my fears. I knew that being human was not only to my advantage but a blessing in disguise. I realized I was apart of something that was wise, venerable and sentient. This connection allowed me to see, that I needed to stand on the building blocks of my own convictions. This birth right which I call our fundamental foundation consists of 4 pillars that hold all of us up as human beings. They are known as, the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental pillars of humanity. The consequences of abductions, can wreak havoc on these pillars, tearing them down one by one leaving a person broken and fragmented. Once the human foundation is unbalanced, the three pillars by proxy, have no recourse but to carry the burden of the faltering pillar. This unbalanced condition can become so intolerable for abductees, that they react from a survival perspective based on fear rather then an analytical response based on faith.

I had to figure out a way, how to become whole again during these dark and confusing times. I realized that my faith was more then super glue, it was the rudiments from which my pillars were made. God created my pillars and because they were made by his blue print, I knew they could rebuild themselves back up. I also knew that it’s who I am in-between the abductions that matters most. The question of, why me, turned into, it does not define me.

Faith replaced the religion that I grew up with and it has been the one constant through out my life that has never let me down. Once I started to understand who I am, the abductions became less monumental in my life. This makes sense to me because I no longer feed the fear mongering monsters lurking in the closets; the door stays shut and if it opens, it’s because I opened it myself.